*"THEIR OWN PRE-OCCUPATIONS"

HOME AGAIN

"Their own pre-occupations” indeed.

I did not have long to dwell on these subjects before I arrived home to some shocking news.

My Dad had lost his eye to Glaucoma which is a buildup of fluid behind the eye. Nothing had been said to me, no inkling of this was given by letter. Lest it should cause me to return home! Or lest it should disturb my mind! What amazingly selfless action on the part of my Mum and Dad, who in the first instance had not wanted me to go. They had endured this traumatic event with their own quiet stoicism. The event had been entirely sudden and without warning. Dad had been riding his bike the several miles up to his work at Potts Hill Pumping Station along the road toward Bankstown, one evening for the Night Shift. He had worked at Potts Hill for many years since the War. It was then steam powered by coal-fired boilers and he was an Engine Room Attendant - hot, dirty work. A sudden stab of intense pain in the eye caused him to fall from his bike. He thought a passing car had thrown up a stone and struck him. By sheer grit he got himself to the Station where help was called and at the Hospital the Doctor gave him the grim news. The operation was prompt - his left eye was gone- replaced by a temporary glass eye, until a tailor made "eye" could be prepared.

This permanent eye had not been produced, when I arrived home, the whole trauma was not much more than a week or so old.

MY DEAR MUM & DAD A VERY INFORMAL PHOTO EARLY IN THE MORNING
ONCE ONE KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE AROUND DAD'S ARTIFICIAL EYE (HIS LEFT) CAN BE DISCERNED

I have endless admiration for the courage with which Dad dealt with this distressing development. I never once heard him complain or ask for consideration in any way, yet the disorientation, inconvenience and no doubt pain and discomfort must have been immense. Jack Dixon was made of steely stuff!

Not many days after arriving home, I was to receive another shock. I said to Mum and Dad that I had better go around the block into Third Avenue and visit Grandma's house (as we still called the former home of Dad's Mother who had died in 1948. I wanted to see my maiden Aunt Nell (Ellen) and Dad's Brother Bill particularly. Under the terms of Grandma's Will, the house was to be a home for the two unmarried people as well as Grandma's Brother Tom "Wingy" (for his withered arm-result of a childhood accident) and Abby (Albert) who, for all his constant presence in the family in my childhood days, I do not understand his relationship. Dad's Mother only had two children, my Dad and his younger brother Bill. Her husband, my Grandfather was a sometimes violent alcoholic and had not lived in the family home for years. Grandma had taken in a number of "strays" including her brother Tom, Abby, my maiden Aunt Nell (daughter of Grandma's other Brother Jack whose wife had died giving birth to Nell - during or after the First World War he re-married to an English woman who would have nothing to do with the daughter of his first wife) Grandma also took in two sisters Thelma (Joan) and Anne who were relatives in some way, but from the country- around Goulburn I think.

But I digress (in grand style!) So I walked around to the old house at 34 Third Avenue. It was a rambling old 1890's house built in several stages. I was chatting to Nell in the kitchen, when in walked Abby. I was appalled and horrified to see that there was in his neck a large hole. When he breathed or attempted to speak, the most ghastly noises resulted. I felt physically sick, my mind was reeling. The poor fellow had of course had one of those distressing cancer of the throat operation which normally result in the person adopting the wearing of a special cravat. He was not the most sensitive of souls, and had not yet been convinced of that necessity, though he was to do so not long after.

1911 MY GRANDMA DIXON WITH MYDAD ON THE LEFT  AND POOR ABBY ON THE RIGHT
DAD'S ONLY SIBLING, HIS YOUNGER BROTHER BILL IS ON GRANDMA'S KNEE
WHO ABBY WAS I DO NOT KNOW

here was no way I could "stay calm and carry on”, I could not get out of the place quickly enough and tried to make some pathetic excuse as I left. Not one of my more glorious moments.

When I got home, Mum and Dad were mortified that in all our pre-occupation with our own problems, they had forgotten to forewarn me.

Plainly, others had greater and more traumatic problems than I had.

As the days passed the question of what I should now do came sharply into focus. Having planned and hoped for so many years to work directly for the Saviour of the World, all other things seemed like so much dross- all equally mundane and unimportant. But that was my choice. I wanted time to sort things out. But Mum and Dad were concerned that this would result in mere brooding and advocated that I should promptly seek work. The euphemistically titled "gap year" had yet to be invented. We could not have afforded it in any case!

At the end of junior High School (Third Year in 1954) along with all my Classmates, I had undergone the State Government’s Vocational Guidance testing. This was obviously a fruit of the new "scientific age" and the limitless ambitions of modern Psychology, which, naively accepted, did so much to destroy many Religious Orders in the post Conciliar turmoil.

So I did all the marvelous scientific Rohrsach tests etc. staring into images of colored circles to see what numbers I could discern, all the multiple choice questions and so on. I don't think we got to examining the entrails of animals- perhaps there wasn't time. Then I answered all the "cleverly designed" questions about what I would do if, and what I would choose if, to covertly discern my inclinations etc., etc. And, having laboured mightily, with careful analysis, the highly qualified Psychologist delivered himself of my Report and the judgment that I was suited, to "Arts, Law and Economics......really anything that you choose."

The wonders of Science!

My family had always voted Labor and so I had been brought up with an admiration for the Federal Government and particularly, Prime Ministers Curtain and then Ben Chifley. And occasional exposure to Frank Capra movies only reinforced those attitudes. On my own account, I had developed an admiration for the then Prime Minister the Liberal Sir Robert Menzies.All of this, led to me in my immaturity, thinking that it would be good to work for the Federal Government. So I applied, sat for the examination, and was accepted and then appointed to the bureau of Statistics!!! NOTHING COULD HAVE BEEN LESS APPEALING. Sure, it was adequately paid, secure and all that, but it was soul-destroying and brain deadening and the published seniority lists rubbed in my face the vast numbers of people who would have to resign, retire or die before I could move up thousands of them.

The Bureau of Statistics was located near or perhaps in the same building as the large DYMOCKS bookshop still in the same premises in George Street, Sydney, between King and Market Streets. My co-workers consisted of two Greek chaps in their forties, one quiet and pleasant, the other goggle eyed, sex-obsessed and bitterly anti-Catholic. There was also a fat young Anglo fellow who considered himself a free thinker, but that did not seem to have been to any great purpose. The boss was a mustachioed ex-Army War veteran whom the others ( behind his back )regarded as a fool , and his contempt for them was pretty clear. I was on at train to nowhere.

I had gradually decided that I wanted to be a Lawyer and preferably a Barrister. This seemed to be a way to do good, to argue for what was right and to defend the innocent and all that. But my family could not afford to send me to University.

At the same time, my Dad recalled a friendship with a gentleman he greatly revered. A real gentleman that is, not abusing the term in any way. Mr. Howsley Farnsworth to whom I was introduced by Dad, was a very Senior Executive in the New South Wales Department of Railways administration.(The Railways have, in the intervening years undergone numerous ludicrous name changes and organizational changes, to give the appearance of real progress.)

RAILWAY HOUSE YORK STREET ABOVE WYNYARD STATION WHICH ALSO EXTENDS UNDER THE PARK IN THE FOREGROUND - IT WAS KNOWN AS "THE GREEN HOUSE"FOR OBVIOUS REASONS

The result of this happy introduction was that I was appointed to a clerical position in the Solicitor for Railways office in the Green House above Wynyard Station in the heart of the City.

The Solicitor for Railways was one Sydney Burke, not an endearing character, and there were about 16 solicitors in the Office supported by about16 other solicitors, supported by about 12 Legal Secretaries and  5 clerks of whom I was the least. I had found a "home" , or so it seemed. 

*1957 - LOOKING BACK TO THE SEMINARY

Not exactly the most flattering picture of yours truly
- taken just outside my Dormitory - my bed is immediately under the window in the picture.

As I tried to find my bearings after leaving the Seminary, things continued to come to hand, which cast my mind back to my days there,with happy memories. For example, some photographs taken on my rather pathetic camera : 

Inclining slightly to the left from the point at which the top photo was taken, one could see the Recreation Hall.I have no recollection of the purpose of the smaller hut to the right. The bushland surrounding the Seminary was dense and largely untamed.It made the Seminary an outpost of spiritual and intellectual endeavour - a type of metaphor for the Church in Australia as a whole.

On occasion, we got to enjoy an excursion. These pictures were taken on a day trip to the Blue Mountains resort town of Katoomba :

A great bunch of guys from a variety of NSW Dioceses, several made it through to Ordination, with varying types of Priestly service, some did not.

Posed to mock the Camera 

Even Seminarians have to eat, and there are two real trenchermen in this picture.

But the photos below are closer to showing our daily routine:

Returning from one of the several daily Recreation walks around the Grounds.The fellow in civvies would be from the Special Latin Class or 5Th Year Secondary School Class.

Infuriating unintended double exposure on what was otherwise a great shot, and well composed if I do say it myself.
One of these fellows became a hot shot international tax expert . Really fine young men willing to discern their vocation .

It wasn't only photos, but books, I believe my massive Liber Usualis I managed to give to another Seminarian. There was also the clothing : Cassock , Surplice , Collar and Biretta these also went to the Seminary for anyone in need. The process was a little dragged out overall, because I suppose, I had little enthusiasm for the pain it caused. But finally, it was all done. And there I was .....going nowhere....adrift.

I ought to have been praying for guidance as to what I should do, I may have done so, I would be surprised if I did not. But I have no recollection of doing so. Sometimes I think, people are so much pre-occupied with the turmoil in their lives and in their heads, that they can overlook the fundamental importance of praying for guidance.God is always ready, and quick , and generous in response, but we must be active in seeking His involvement in our affairs,in showing openness to His Will.Just look at the Parable of the Prodigal Son ( better called The Good Father). As soon as the prodigal has repented and begun his return, his Father sees him from afar off and hurries to meet him.That is how it is with prayer,God's response is generous and often surprising.

*1957 SEMINARY - LIFE AND LEAVING

High Mass as it was celebrated at the time.

EASTER

Holy Week and Easter are, dare I risk being accused of a pun, crucial times in the Church's liturgical and spiritual life. I have loved them since I was a little child, and year by year, my love has grown as my knowledge and appreciation have grown. The liturgical ceremonies were conducted with all appropriate devotion at St. Columba's.

At the completion of the Easter Vigil,  very late in the night, we repaired to the Refectory to celebrate Easter in a human way with an abundant supply of various cakes -  the Nuns in the Kitchen had excelled themselves. And there was also Coffee!!This very special High Tea was greeted with simple joy and a genuine air of relaxed celebration.

MEALS

As I said, we had designated tables for our meals. There was a Table Prefect appointed for each table, responsible for organizing collection of the food from the kitchen servers. The food was prepared by Nuns, though I only ever got distant glimpses of them. The food was then served onto the plates stacked at the aisle end of the table, and then passed along to each individual. The food provided followed a fairly predictable routine.

Breakfast

Breakfast consisted of Cereal or Porridge with fresh milk from the Dairy on the College grounds. This was followed by sausages and eggs or "Cannon Balls" (VERY large rissoles - probably the ultimate favorite meal of all the students) served with gravy. Then Tea with bread/toast with butter and jam or honey.

Dinner (Lunch)

Meat and vegetables and a simple dessert or fruit to follow.

Tea (Dinner)

A lighter meal with a simple sweets dish and tea and bread and butter and jam (I think) to follow.

The food was always good and plain- never anything exotic, but I never felt let down or hungry. In fact at my table, there were a number of real trenchermen. I recall one fellow- C.A. - who later enjoyed some small media fame as "the surfing Priest”, who sat on my right and would frequently say to me “If you are going to leave that, I’ll have it!" So his diet was regularly supplemented as was that of another good fellow- F.W. - who sat on my left, a really nice bloke and certainly less wiry than the first, who also often assisted in clearing the substantial meals from my plate. They both had great appetites, but I always ate enough to never be hungry.

I previously noted that most meals were eaten in silence, unless there was a visitor or it was a major Feast Day. On those occasions, the Rector would tap a glass with a piece of cutlery to indicate we were free to talk.

BISHOP ( LATER ARCHBISHOP AND CARDINAL) JAMES FREEMAN

I recall Bishop (later Archbishop and then Cardinal) Freeman visiting us on one occasion and the Rector becoming so engrossed in conversing with his guest that he forgot to “tap the glass" I have never known silence to be so "aggressive"! But it seemed to have become like a battering ram and the Bishop felt it. He drew the omission to the Rector's attention and the traditional signal was given. The silence broke with a thunderous combination of laughter and talk!

But during most meals there was reading by one of the students. On some occasions it was from the Roman Martyrology on others, something from Hilaire Belloc, e.g. "The Path to Rome". Various students brought very different skills to the task. Sometimes this also produced some relieving humor. One such unfortunate was a late vocation. He had been a carpenter before entering the Seminary and was in his late thirties. He was a nice man and one would imagine his trade would provide a suitable background, considering the occupation of the Great High Priest prior to his public life. This fellow had a high-pitched rather scratchy voice which did not make for ideal delivery, and it happened that one morning instead of reading "and camels in throngs" he read " and camels in thongs"(the Australian term for what are called "flip- flops in some countries) he caused uncontrollable laughter to break out in waves until the Rector demanded silence. The Queen of Sheba had never raised such mirth before, nor has she since, I'll wager.

It is of course the constriction of an ordered life, be it religious, naval or military or civil ceremonial that makes these small accidental events so delightful - simple pleasures! Lacking that rigorous order in our modern free form lives, entertainment is more and more sought for its own sake and ever more forcefully , so that it has come to be confused with reality , as so often in the United States for some little while and now increasingly here.

Our Recreation walks around the grounds in Cassocks gave us good opportunities to get to know one another better, and to simply relax. The evening walk caused one Italian late vocation- J.P.- to say to a group of us once:" tonight I think you can't understand me, because you can't see my gesturing!" we all enjoyed the joke. He was a very nice fellow and we all enjoyed talking to him and learning a little about Italy.

THIS BLUE MOUNTAINS PICTURE BRINGS TO MIND THE
SAME BUSHLAND SURROUNDING THE SEMINARY

On Sundays we occasionally got to have a half day off when, in casual gear, we would go for a hike along the well established bush tracks to a variety of known destinations such as St.Joseph's Bower, Our Lady Of Mt.Carmel Grotto and "Egg Rock". On one such occasion to a rarely visited spot we found ourselves off the track and confronted by a high sandstone rock face. The decision was taken to go around its face.Easier said than done. As it happened, I, never a great or even a minor athlete, became stuck - unable to go back or forward, spread eagled on the effective cliff face. I was petrified by fear of disaster in the shape of a deep fall down the rock face. Others were pre-occupied with their own problems, but one capable but kind soul who was from a lower class, perhaps Special Latin or 5th Year came to my aid. It would have been so easy for a more capable person to be dismissive or overly assertive in such a situation. But not him. His Surname was Grainger and I think his Christian Name was Jim- yet I can't find his name on the Class lists. Anyway, he was the very model of calm and self-effacing ease of manner, he climbed across to me and then putting himself around me gradually moved my hands and got me to place my feet on his until in a few minutes all was well and I could move independently. His manner throughout was one of kindness and helpfulness, making light of the situation during and afterwards as well. In my mind he deserved a Medal! He has my undying gratitude.

THE STUDENT BODY

In general I was surprised by the diversity of the personalities composing the student body. But by and large, I liked and, in many cases, admired them. There were a very few , no more than three, I would rather have nothing to do with, they either did not make it through to Ordination or, those who did, subsequently left the Priesthood in the post- Conciliar turmoil. One, now a retired judge has written a distasteful book about his time there. He evidently feels the need to put down the institution to build himself up. Failed. his reminiscences about the Seminary say more adverse about him than the Seminary. Googling his legal career is not fun.

My decision to leave the Seminary in May of that first year was certainly not because of any perceived fault in the Seminary or its staff or students or the Church, either then or  in retrospect. In fact I loved the place and the people. The problem was my lack of maturity I believe. I had led a very quiet and sheltered life in a very loving family environment. I was a shy person and had not had any systematic opportunity to deal with others and with organizations other than schools. But I did have an almost insatiable desire to be involved in all that was going on in the world. This was the nub of the issue of my immaturity, for that desire overcame my commitment to the vocation I had aspired to. Well, I can see that now, 54 years later, but not then, not so clearly. It was more intuitive and felt. I was in the wrong place and should leave.Any non-Catholic reader might be surprised to learn,that although I had all the normal sexual impulses, these matters were not remotely an issue in my decision.

I was certainly devout and earnest, but then, lacked that spiritual depth I have begun to achieve with age , and I lacked the mental rigor which oddly enough did not come to me from any academic source but from the disciplines of the commercial world , and  in the Naval Reserve in later years and from my own private reading and study and prayerful reflection. 

In my earlier schooling I had always done very well without ever seriously studying- coming first and second in my classes. In my later Secondary schooling I still came 5th in my classes without changing my habits. But no-one, least of all me, perceived the problem that I was never seriously, systematically, studying and never reading or  doing more than was prescribed. It was a hopeless approach in any academic endeavour, and yet another reflection of immaturity.

WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN?

I have often wondered what might have been the result,  if I had continued and had been Ordained. The Class I belonged to was among those newly-ordained Priests who hardly had time to get on their knees before the maelstrom of post Vatican II stresses descended on them and rocked the ground beneath their feet! Several of those I knew bent to the winds of deceit so far, that they have become false "spirit of the Council" types. Others ended up leaving the Priesthood and others still fought the good fight staying true to the continuing Church and the letter of the Council, even in the face of radically wrong Bishops. How would I have contributed? Would I have been a relevant force for good, or a rigid stumbling block in difficult situations? How would I have been affected? The questions are irrelevant. It did not happen. Only one Person knows. Perhaps I was saved from doing harm in that time of trial, or saved for later action in other ways.

TIMES OF LUNATIC LITURGICAL ABUSE

It is, nevertheless, interesting to reflect that every time we cross a set of points (to use a railway analogy) in life, one group of possibilities opens and another is closed.

Had I not left the Seminary, my dear wife would have married someone else; ten people would not have been born (our three children and seven grandchildren). The spouses of our children would have married someone else, or not married. The Secretariat of the Australian Confraternity of Catholic Clergy would have been without free service for the eight years we operated it and did much more and the lesser number of years my wife desktop published its magazine "THE PRIEST". The many thousands of Catholic books and magazines we promoted and sold for ten years would not have been promoted and sold, and on and on it goes. God knows, and it is to Him we must all give an account for all we have done, and all we have failed to do, or failed in doing.

FRIENDS

The manner of leaving the Seminary in those days was to do so with with the minimum of attention, so as not to disturb the student body. When I had made my mind up, a process evolving over several weeks -  largely in my head and on my knees, I made an appointment with the Spiritual Director Father Ted Shepherd and gave him a very polite , carefully worded letter indicating my desire to leave and thanking all involved for their assistance during my time at St. Columba's. He asked a few telling questions to test my resolve, and that was it. I had expected a difficult process, but no - I had made my decision and he wished me well.

I was a little surprised by this lack of contrary persuasive effort. I still am.

I was leaving a great group of friends whom I really liked and respected, but I knew that the nature of their commitment and my decision would make it hard to maintain contact with them.

And so one morning (a pity about the morning, a reference to "nacht und knebel "would have been nice, but morning it was!) a taxi called and whisked me off to Springwood Station, where in due course, a good reliable C36 Class Steam Loco hauled its train in from the West, to take me swiftly down to the coastal plain and on to Strathfield where I changed to catch an electric train back to Lidcombe and a taxi home.

I felt rather deflated. The hopes of years past and for years to come, the noble intention, the sacred proposal, had been derailed , all of these  were crushed, and by my own decision. And I had no clear direction, hope or inspiration to guide me for the weeks and months, let alone years ahead. What would I do now? Had I done the right thing? And how would I handle the succession of contacts with relatives and friends? Would people think less of me for having left?

But others had their own pre-occupations.

FUN OF THE FAIR

WAHROONGA TRANSFORMED FOR THE ANNUAL VILLAGE FAIR

In brilliant Australian sunshine the quiet and rather up-market shopping centre of Wahroonga on Sydney's Upper North Shore, was transformed yesterday for the Annual Village Fair which is always held in early December. Even the Car Park behind the shops seen above, was transformed into more space for stalls and entertainment for the children.The customary Mercedes Benz, BMWs and SUVs which clog the streets of this well-heeled area were left at home for the day , and most people arrived by train from surrounding suburbs.

Far more than "ten "Pipers piping

Nearby Knox College provided plenty of musical entertainment with its College Big Band which was brilliant, but the star attraction was the College Pipe Band which marched in with fine style Pipes skirling and Drums beating and formed a great circle in the midst of the throng and proceeded to play with great effect:"


WARNING : TURN YOUR VOLUME DOWN

Whilst I did not get it on video, when they played a single Piper intoduction to AMAZING GRACE and then all the Pipers skirled to join in , the effect was ELECTRIFYING - the thrill of live performance vs. recording is always marvellous.


They were a great credit to the College and everyone greatly regretted that their performance had to come to an end. For that little while I was transported in spirit back to our 2009 trip to Edinburgh and then on through the Highlands by train to Inverness.


Some distinguished folk joined us later, sadly missing the Pipers, but managing to have fun in their very special way. But sadly the weather did "a Melbourne"and in very short time clouded over and brought heavy rain . We managed to beat our own retreat just ahead of the rain. And so we came to spend the rest of the day freezing - SUMMER in the days of GLOBAL FREEZING. This Spring just passed, has apparently provided the coldest introduction to Summer in 51 years! 


For all that, we had a great day!

MICHAEL DANIEL CAMPBELL

UNDER THE WATCHFUL EYE OF SIR KEITH YORSTON PRESIDENT OF THE AUSTRALIAN-AMERICAN ASSOCIATION MIKE CAMPBELL CHAIRMAN OF THE JUNIOR AUSTRALIAN-AMERICAN ASSOCIATON INTRODUCES SANDY TODRIN VICE PRESIDENT AND YOURS TRULY (EXTREME RIGHT) TO THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF PACIFIC FLEET U.S.NAVY

A tribute to a dear friend : Michael Daniel Campbell who died on this day in 1999 at the relatively young age of 66yrs.

Mike was one of the long term active members of the Australian -American Association at first as a member and then successively, Secretary, Vice President and then President of the Junior Australian-American Association He then became a member of the senior Association and one of its Committee Chairmen.

Mike was a Solicitor by Profession and a member of the Council of St. John's College at Sydney University. He had originally come from Gunnedah, where I believe his Father had been Mayor. Mike did his schooling at St.Joseph's College Hunter's Hill as a Boarder. He was a devout Catholic and had very broad interests in public affairs and politics as well as religion.He was never married. His brother is a Priest.

Mike and I shared our religion, our interest in the Australian -American Association , our Membership at the time, of the Royal Automobile Club
and a conservative view of Political matters. We used to dine at the RAC approx. monthly and after an enjoyable dinner we would adjourn to the Members' Lounge for Coffee and a Chartreuse or two ( thus stimulating the Monastic economy) and it was in that setting that very many of the World's problems were solved ( without any apparent external effect!)

Mike was a guest at our wedding when Robyn and I married in 1970, and a regular Dinner guest over the years, as we were to become at his home.

He was a very good man, and a thoroughly honourable man. Though his opinions and mine rarely differed, he was always that little bit more generous and formal in his judgement of the "baddies"in many cases. I admired that in him. We shared many grand occasions, particularly in connection with the United States Navy. I particularly enjoy the memory of Mike and I being invited to Lunch aboard the Nuclear -powered Guided Missile Cruiser U.S.S. LONG BEACH a beautifully designed and large ship moored out in the roadstead opposite Farm Cove. We were to be collected from a landing on the Western side of Farm Cove. Across from the ship came a huge Admiral's Barge and we were borne in great state to the Port Side Ladder, climbed the very high ship's side and were greeted by a full Side Party , saluted to and welcomed aboard as if we were Royalty. We were both embarrassed, but Mike the more so, because he was a very shy and unassuming person, though a great stickler for propriety.

If he cares to look down from above, I am sure he will have a chuckle at my efforts to get all the brush strokes right in this brief verbal portrait.

Mike we miss you very much and pray for the repose of your soul .

*1957 - THE SEMINARY

This used to be Saint Columba's Minor Seminary Springwood - Now a High School
At least they have a fine Chapel - I wonder how well it is used.

1957   THE SEMINARY

CALLED

The letter from the Seminary duly arrived, confirming my acceptance and spelling out what I would need to bring with me and specifying the commencement date. I think it also mentioned the particular train from Central Station to Springwood which would be used by the majority of students. The extra passenger load called for two more carriages than the train usually ran.

There was much to be done in the remaining weeks before commencement. Now that I think of it, it would have been great to have had contact with a current Seminarian to get more detailed familiarisation with Seminary life. That was not the case and Father McGovern the Archdiocesan Vocations Director remained available and helpful. There was clothing to be bought - Cassock, Roman Collar, Surplice and Biretta and a dark suit and black tie and white shirt. There were also books to be procured, though the weighty Liber Usualis, if I remember rightly, was purchased through the Seminary.

KITTED OUT

The Cassock was made to measure by an Order of Nuns in Annandale, on Pyrmont Bridge Road I think. I vividly remember sitting in prolonged silence on a settle in the gleaming polished corridor of the Convent until a distant but nearing swishing of a religious habit heralded the arrival of a Nun to usher me into a workroom where I was briskly measured up and asked to return in two weeks for fitting and delivery. This I did and all was well. (Nuns in habits! Their very appearance was a witness to their selfless commitment of their lives to God, and their names in religion, spoke of that commitment."I gotta be me" had to await the false "spirit of the Council".)

Fully Kitted Out -Don Camillo says:
"The hands are to  bless Lord,  but the feet....?"

For the Roman Collar, Surplice and Biretta, I went to Ambrosoli Brothers - one of a number of clerical outfitters - all went smoothly. However the Biretta had to be ordered in because they did not normally carry size 6 and7/8 ths in stock. My "dome" challenged the system! I love the Biretta and am sorry to see it so little used to-day. Nevertheless, I have never been a "hat person" and have never felt right wearing one.

In due course I was completely "kitted out" and ready to leave, well in advance of the required day.

NOT AN ALTAR SERVER

I HAD NEVER BEEN AN ALTAR SERVER -
THAT PRIVILEGE LAY 35 YEARS IN THE FUTURE
Here the saintly,brilliant and charismatic Archbishop Fulton Sheen

One thing sat oddly with my intention, acceptance and preparation. I had never once in my life acted as an Altar Server. As it happened, I never would be, until one morning some 35 years later, at St. Stephen's Cathedral Brisbane, The Administrator of the Cathedral Father Clem Hodge, found himself without a Server for the 8.00am Mass which I attended each weekday, and since he knew me well, overcame my objections that I had never in my life served Mass and gently pressed me into service. He is a good Priest and I could not let him down. Later I had the chance to assist a couple of other Priests similarly. One of them I had not held in too high a regard, but I was impressed by his careful attention to rubric requirements in a difficult situation, when the Sacristy Safe for Sacred Vessels could not be opened! In later years it was my great privilege to regularly serve the Latin Mass according to the 1962 Missal celebrated in his home by the good Jesuit Father Gregory Jordan S.J.  A true giant of the Faith in troubled Brisbane Archdiocese. I am forever grateful for that privilege, even though I came to it reluctantly, preferring to simply assist at Holy Mass. But I really came to love the opportunity to serve and so assist more directly.

ON OUR WAY

Back to my story. On Wednesday 15th February, 1957 I headed off to Central Station to join the nominated Springwood bound train. We all gathered on the appropriate Country Train Platform of the great Central Railway Station. We could readily identify each other as members of the group, most of a certain age, all soberly dressed in dark suit and black tie and carrying a bag and most attended by parents and siblings to see us off.

It was a pretty good reflection on the Church as she was in Australia before the Second Vatican Council, that so many young men were inspired to answer the call they believed they had received to become Priests. In most cases it reflected admiration for a Priest or Priests they had known. There were to be 52 at the beginning of our First Year Philosophy Class - by the end of that year the number would be down to 44 I believe, and I was one of the drop outs. This was a pretty normal evolution in the numbers each year.

C36 Class Loco of the type working the passenger trains to and from the Blue Mountains

The good, solid C36 Class steam locomotive blew its whistle, final goodbyes were waved and called out and our train gingerly threaded its way through the maze of tracks and points, until it found itself on the Main Western Line.

I don't really recall much of the trip. I do remember there was a lot of banter among those who knew each other and returning students from the previous year. There was obviously a lot of "in" talk that only made sense to those who knew the personalities, situations and subjects of the conversation. It was all clearly good hearted. Being rather shy in any case, and not knowing any of the background to the banter, I said little and kept largely to myself.

"COLUMBA PENNA NIVEA"

After the hard slog uphill from the coastal plain at Penrith, our sturdy loco paused at Springwood where we detrained, before continuing its climb up the Blue Mountains to the summit at Katoomba. For our part we piled into the buses waiting to take us the few miles to the North to St. Columba's College. The old hands began to sing the College hymn/theme song "Columba Penna Nivea" which carried us through the Gates and up the curving driveway. Tradition was being observed and I loved it!

On arrival there was much greeting from students from other Dioceses (for this was a Provincial Seminary for the Province of Sydney which takes in the whole of New South Wales) who had arrived earlier. The atmosphere was one of happy excitement. But there was essential business to be done. College Professorial staff and appointed Prefects soon had lists of designated Dormitory occupants and we were detailed off to our austere Dormitories and then after leaving our bags by our iron framed beds, we were shown the shower stalls and the toilets and given a brief run-down as to what was expected of us in matters of timeliness. It was immediately clear that this was a tightly run ship. (The experience was to stand me in good stead in future years on shipboard in the Royal Australian Naval Reserve). That done, we moved quickly down to the Chapel where we had time for reflection in the presence of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament before joining in prayer for a productive year ahead.

We then moved to the Refectory where Tea (in to-days parlance Dinner) was served. The Refectory was close to the Main Entrance. It was a considerable room which accommodated the 135 or so Seminarians at tables ranged on either side of the room with one end butted against the respective walls and a broad aisle left down the centre. Along the entry end wall was the table of the Rector and Professorial Staff and, at the opposite end of the room a Lectern, at which selected students read to those assembled who were required to eat in silence. On special occasions the Rector would dispense with the silence rule by tapping a glass with a piece of cutlery at the conclusion of Grace before Meals.

AMEN!

On this first occasion we sat wherever we chose, but in due course we were to be allocated specific tables within our Class groups with appointed Table Prefects. My lasting impression of that first meal was of the resounding "AMEN!" bouncing of the walls and relatively low ceiling from the throats of 135 fit and healthy young men. As a group, I thought we sounded like a formidable team!

TOP TABLE TEAM

The professorial Staff was of course headed by the Rector Monsignor

" Charlie " Dunne - formidable, dour, and obviously in no sense a "fatherly " figure, then came the Dean of Studies Dr George Joyner a Priest of robust manly manner and deep booming voice, who was to teach us Latin and Greek. He had a good sense of humour and I liked him from our first meeting. He had a curious habit of inserting the word "anyway" up to four or five times in a row into his lecturing monologues at any pause to collect his thoughts. We were all amused at this little bit of professorial vulnerability , as only the arrogance of youth with its certainty of its group perfection, but knowledge of its individual defects, can affect. Father Noel Carroll was our Lecturer in Italian and I believe History. He was known as "say" for his habit of using that Americanism as in: "Say, have you seen.....”He also had some other minor Americanisms and tendencies in speech which the students blamed on his having "changed planes once in Chicago". Thin and with eyes that tended to bulge, he was, all in all, ripe for caricature and parody - grist for the teenage student mill. Our Philosophy Lecturer was a tall young , plumpish Dr. John Burnheim he was forever seeking examples to illustrate some abstract point he was trying to make in Philosophy and all too often his eye would wander out through the window and out he would come with "Now, take that tree...." It became a cause for constant mimicry and amusement. His vague manner suggested to this observer at least, a foggy mind induced by his Philosophic studies at Louvain. Fulton Sheen he was not. Some years later after a stint as Rector of St.John’s College at Sydney University, he left the Priesthood. I was not surprised.

Father Bede Heather was the Lecturer in Sacred Scripture, but I don't believe we had started those studies when I left. He was known to the Seminarians jokingly as the “Vulnerable Bede" for his softness of character. He later became Bishop of Parramatta and his episcopate was truly disastrous. During that time, he had overseen the introduction of false religious education materials into the schools of the Diocese, and when the errors were pointed out to him with crystal clarity, chapter and verse; he dismissed the proof and did nothing. Two of his Priests, having also received dismissive treatment, to say the least, formally took the matter to the Holy See as they were bound in conscience to do. They were in fact students in the Class above us in 1957. Talk about "bearing the heat of the battle", the heroic Fathers John O’Neill and Carl Ashton had to bear the sensationalist media scrutinising the issues and playing up the public difference between the Church's teaching, which they were defending, and their Ordinary.

Bishop Heather's lack of orthodoxy in matters of teaching etc extended to other areas, and in due course he developed a Roman illness and retired early though all too late, but at least quietly.

The Spiritual Director was Father Ted Shepherd. As I look back on it, his approach to that role seems to me to have been re-active rather than active, “seems to me" are the operative words. I would not presume to judge him or the approach he adopted. They were very different times, and it may very well be that he did not have the freedom to adopt a different approach. What now seems to me to be an appropriate approach to the Spiritual Direction of Seminarians would be active individual and small group counselling and leadership in prayer, meditation, Lectio Divina ,Sacred Liturgy and the spiritual life. At the time, his pattern of operation was all I knew, and possibly all he knew, and so I assumed that it was as it ought to be.

Commencing some five or so years earlier in Gemany, this devout and brilliant
young Seminarian was to be of extraordinary importance for the whole Church.

Our Seminary Day

We rose each day at 6.00am, quickly showered and dressed to be downstairs in the Chapel at 6.30 am for Morning Prayer and brief Meditation before Holy Mass at 7.00 am. Allowing time for Thanksgiving after receiving Holy Communion, we were to be back  upstairs making our beds at 7.45 am. At 8.00 am we were in the Refectory for Breakfast after which we were free until 9.00 am when Classes began. We had a brief Recreation break from 11.00 am to 11.15 am when Classes resumed until 12.25 pm when there was a Recreation break until a brief Examination of Conscience from 12.40 to 12.45 pm. At that time, Dinner (Lunch in these times) was served in the Refectory. This was followed by Recreation until 1.40 pm at which time Classes recommenced until 3.40 pm when we had Coffee. We were then free for Recreation until 5.20 pm. At that time, we paid a visit to the Blessed Sacrament and did Spiritual Reading.

Should it happen that anyone who is not a Catholic is reading this, the term "Spiritual Reading" might seem rather limiting and dull. Far from it! The Catholic Church is 2,000 years old and rich beyond belief in writings and reflections on every aspect of the Life of Jesus Christ, on Sacred Scripture, on Prayer and the lives of the Saints. One could spend a long life trying to read, let alone study, meditate on and pray over only a part of this Treasury of Wisdom. The depth of this wisdom is amazing even when some of it has been written in the so- called Dark Ages. And it is all the more cherished because it has survived "dungeons, fire and sword” through persecutions, wars, all manner of hostility and even temporary loss, to lift up the hearts of Catholic people to Jesus Christ, God become Man.

On designated days in our printed Calendar Book, Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament took the place of the Visit and, on Wednesdays and Fridays; the Spiritual Reading was displaced by a Spiritual Conference and the Stations of the Cross, respectively.

At 6.30 pm Tea (Dinner in these times) was served in the Refectory. At 7.20pm The Rosary was recited in the Chapel, and at 7.35 pm we were in the Classrooms for Study. At 9.15 pm we walked around the Grounds until 9.30 pm when we gathered in the Chapel for Night Prayers and Meditation Points. And finally at 10.00 pm we were abed and lights were out. At first this furious pace of disciplined activity was daunting, but it did not take long to get into the rhythm of it and we were able to wear it lightly.

Our movie for 18th March, 1957

Saturdays were business as usual, save for the Literary and Debating Society between 7.35 pm and 9.00 pm. According to my recollection, we occasionally had films at that time. These included:

March 18th. The Lavender Hill Mob

March.25th Religious Films

April 21st.    The Barber of Seville

May 1st.       Hobson's choice

I have always had a loathing for amateur operated movie projectors, hating their all too audible "clackety clack" noise of operation, the regular going out of focus, slipping the teeth of the drive and more problems. So much easier to-day (with due regard for warnings about public exhibition death and destruction etc.).

Sunday was different. We did not rise until 6.30 am. Mass at 9.30 am was Solemn High Mass or a Missa Cantata. It was followed by recreation from 10.30 am until 10.45 am when the Rector's Conference took place followed by Recreation until 12.40pm.At that time we had Spiritual Reading and Examination of Conscience. At 1.00 pm Dinner was served in the Refectory followed by Recreation until 2.00 pm.Then private reading and letter writing were allowed until 4.30pm when study was set down until 5.30 pm and at 5.45 pm we prayed Vespers and had Benediction in the Chapel. At 6.30 pm Tea was served in the Refectory followed by Recreation until 7.20 pm.Then we assembled in the Chapel for recitation of the Rosary followed by study in the Classroom. At 9.00 pm we had Recreation via our nightly walk around the grounds, assembled in the Chapel at 9.15 pm for Night Prayers and Meditation Points until at 9.45 pm we were to be abed and it was lights out.

The beautiful Cardinal Cerettii Memorial Chapel at the former St.Patricks Seminary Manly
The Chapel remains under the control of the Archdiocese even though the former Seminary buildings are now
leased long term to a Catering College  an arrangement concluded in Cardinal Clancy's time.

THE CHAPEL

The heart of any Catholic Seminary is the Chapel. Here is the Eucharistic Lord every Seminarian aspires to serve, reserved in the Tabernacle. Here the Seminarians gather, arranged in Choir,along either side wall for the celebration of Holy Mass and  Benediction, for the praying of the Liturgical prayers of the Office and for private prayer and Meditation. I have always rejoiced in the privilege of living "under the same roof" as Our Lord,at Springwood and in later years on Retreats and at Conferences. To be able easily to come into the Divine Presence is a truly marvellous privilege. It was one that very many of the Seminarians took continuing advantage of, dropping in to pay a visit as we Catholics say, during Recreation times, or whenever it could be fitted in. This is where the design of Churches and Chapels is so important. They must be places imbued with the sense of the sacred, and conducive to prayer and devotion, not "gathering places about the people”. Rather they must, by their shape, proportions, materials and fittings lead the eye and the mind and all the senses toward God Who is the object of our worship and devotion. Both at Springwood and at Manly the Seminarians were blessed not only by the Presence of Our Lord but also by Chapels designed and built and tended in full appreciation of the dignity of their purpose , and nobly seeking to glorify God come among us in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.